If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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