i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
