If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
