I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
