i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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