he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
