Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
