After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
