Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
