My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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