just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
