i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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