You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
