and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
