are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
