dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
