I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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