Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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