I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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