if i died would you start the facebook group?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So squirting runs in the family.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
