The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hello my rib-scented angel!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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