My Higher Power is John Stamos
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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