dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
