wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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