The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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