Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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