omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
