I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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