the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
