There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
