I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
