i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
