she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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