I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The air taste purple.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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