it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
