So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
