Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
