Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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