Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
