Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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