Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
