He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need water and some morals
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
