She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
