When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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