doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
