I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
