This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
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I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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