oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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