id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
