I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
