It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
