Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
