Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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