member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
