You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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