how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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