We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize