Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
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how do you play pong handcuffed?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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