Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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