Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just took my morning after pill in the library
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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