How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize